As part of our preparation to become adopting parents, my wife, Lisa, and I have been speaking to many foster and adopting parents across the country. So many people have inspired us with their heroic, yet matter-of-fact selflessness.

Tamar Fox is one of them; she’s also a gifted writer who has written about her experience. Her inspiring article was published in Lilith Magazine, and you can read it here.

2 thoughts on “The Path of a Foster Mom”

  1. Being a parent is a selfless act. I am going to make the assumption that most of us became parents because we wanted to. It is our choice, very well knowing that this 24/7 job comes with exponential amounts of love, though can offer very little amounts of daily return on our investment in the form of tangible evidence and validation that we are in fact succeeding. We plunge forward, do the best that we can, keep our unconditional love for our child at the forefront of our minds and hearts, and hope that this little person we are raising will turn out to be a well-adjusted, secure adult, while having memories of a happy childhood to boot.

  2. It’s not that I KNOW a lot about being a parent,, because had I known – I would have made much less mistakes, maybe; I’m learning and learning and sometimes really bumping into the lessons… But the good thing about this bumpy road: I happen to teach my daughters that mistakes are such an essential part of our journey, that we mature through spending much time out of the box called “the way it should be” or “the way it should have been”. Itzik Manger’s poem “A Tree is Standing Nearby” (or literally: “On the Way a Tree is Standing”) always sends chills down my spine (espesially when Chava Alberstein sings it in Yiddish…) when it gets to describing how a mother tries to overload her son by asking him to wear heavy winter cloths of many kinds, just so he won’t be able to spread his wings and fly away and leave her alone… One can be a parent of a poem, or an idea, or any work of art, and this type of parenthood might also mean, at some point, letting the “child” leave the parent’s mind’s bubble and evolve on its own; but human children start practicing farewells very early, and therefore I sometimes wonder why it takes so much time and pain to learn to hug them only when they wish to be hugged, when they come for a hug; to hug for a warm while and then let the hug turn into a light blessing they can carry as they leave home again. Igal, I’m sending drishat shalom and lot of “cousinish” blessings for the journey 🙂

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